We do not adhere to any one particular homeschooling philosophy. I have never been convinced that there is any one way of doing anything that will always work for everyone and I simply refuse to discard something only because it does not fit into the box of whatever lifestyle we have chosen. Because my children are still so young, the way we learn is exclusively child-led and play-based. If pressed to define our style, I would have to say it most closely resembles unschooling, but I would probably make most unschoolers shudder with my insistence that Liam practice literacy skills daily. That glaring "flaw" aside, I do limit my role in their education to providing space and resources, limiting distractions, saying 'yes' and observing closely. Every few months, I find myself looking around our home and wondering if it is really providing my kids with a fun, stimulating learning environment. Inevitably, I find myself online, searching for inspiration, writing lists and planning to redo All The Things. We should go more Montessori-Waldorf-Reggio, I always decide. We should have more wooden blocks-silk scarves-plants-lights-wicker baskets. The problem is that we aren't Montessori or Waldorf or Reggio. As beautiful and inspiring as those philosophies are, they each require giving up some of our educational and personal freedoms and that isn't something we are willing to do. I am just not willing to tell my kid that the action figures he loves desperately no longer fit into our chosen lifestyle, that he isn't old enough for the technology he is endlessly fascinated with, or that he must follow a particular procedure if he desires to play with a particular toy. So, this time, when the bug to redo our space returned, I started searching for "unschooling spaces" and you know what I found? Not much. Not nothing, but not much. I did find a few good visuals to pull from but mostly I found explanations about why unschoolers do not need a designated space to learn. I definitely agree with "learning in the real world," but I also enjoy creating inviting spaces for my children to explore, discover and play in. So, I decided to share some pictures of our little play space, as imperfect as it may be. Please do not mind the pajama-clad ragamuffins in these photographs. It was early morning and they do live here. Also, as tempted as I was to straighten up the shelves and remove some of the clutter, I decided to leave things as they usually are. Since this is the kids' space, the kids are usually the ones to clean it up, which means things generally have the slightly disheveled look of small fingers hurriedly completing unwanted tasks. Obviously, we learn in all areas of our home. The boys have toys in every room of the house. A dollhouse sits in the corner of the living room, a wooden play kitchen is in the actual kitchen, a large costume trunk is in the baby's room, the big boys' have a puppet theater in their room and shelves filled with books, cars, action figures and legos, and the dining room table and backyard see more action than most areas of the house. However, when we moved into our little house from our much littler apartment, I felt rich with space and could not wait to create a designated play room for the boys...so I did. It is small and storage is limited but we try to make the most of the space. Also, in order for me to be able to be home full-time to homeschool at all, we have to live frugally, and that means the majority of our house has been rescued from the side of the road, found in thrift stores or given to us as generous gifts. Sometimes, I start to wish we could have a more beautiful, natural space and I get a little bit envious of the spaces I find in my endless searches, but I eventually realize that when we need a shelf or a table or a toy, I am just not in a position to turn it down because it does not fit my aesthetic vision. We make do with what we have and the boys have never expressed a need for more wicker baskets or natural wood or etsy artwork so I suppose it isn't harming them too much. This little art corner has moved with us 6 times and has changed very little over the years. My kids are not overly enthusiastic about art, so the easel usually stays folded up against the wall but it can be pulled out if needed. The supplies we keep out are pretty basic: paper, pencils, crayons, markers, and stamps. Paint is kept in the closet because toddlers, but the brushes and smock are left out as reminders to ask for paint if the mood strikes. We keep our musical instruments near the c.d. player for jam sessions and we keep the c.d. player near the quiet corner for audio books. I also keep alphabet books and word/letter based puzzles or games on these shelves and so we have our quirky cozy musical reading area. The bookshelf is home to books, wooden puzzles, play dough and fidget toys, and beside it is our math and science shelf stuffed full of math manipulatives, blocks, math and science themed books, science kits and plenty of tools for exploring and discovery. The boys artwork hangs above on some rods from IKEA. Because the boys only pursue art on rare occasions, some of Liam's first drawings are still hanging! This distinct lack of interest in art has been a hard thing for me to accept and it took me years to make room for all the math and science my kids prefer to explore throughout the day, but I think I have finally made peace with it and I simply savor the rare moments of artistic expression as they come. The room also serves as a therapy space. Rory has therapy three times a week, but all three boys enjoy the therapy ball, trampoline, ball pit, and other therapy toys we keep out. The foam Little People mat was left over after a toy swap I hosted at our house and it turned out to be a perfect place for Rory to work with his therapist. Our sensory table was given to us by a friend who I can never, ever thank enough. We usually keep one side filled with sand or rice and the other side filled with various liquids. Currently, Dexter is enjoying throwing things into his specifically requested pink water and guessing whether they will sink or float. It is important work.
To the right of this picture is the very small closet which is currently packed full of books, worksheets, board games and craft supplies. It definitely needs a makeover but I am grateful for any storage space we can get! That concludes the tour of our little "unschooling" play space. It isn't perfect but it serves us well. I am hoping to add a few things in the coming months. I am always looking to improve and I would love to see other people's spaces for inspiration!
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I will never forget the day I found out that Dexter was going to become The Middle Child. I remember staring down at him as he sat unsteadily on the floor, a positive pregnancy test trembling in my hand. Liam had gone to stay with grandparents for the weekend and we were supposed to be enjoying alone time with the baby- this baby- our baby. He had just learned to sit up independently and he grinned at me proudly, dimples flashing. I just wanted to cry. I thought I was ruining his entire life. Spoiler Alert: I wasn't. Yes, Dexter is the middle boy in a family of boys. Yes, he has an older brother that demands constant attention and a younger brother with special needs that require a lot of attention but this boy is fierce, loud, clever, and wild. This boy makes you want to pay attention. Perhaps this was his personality from the beginning or perhaps he simply learned how to make himself heard, but either way, Dexter is going to be just fine. I do not worry about Dexter at all, but I am always aware of his predicament. Being a toddler can be hard. On top of this, his days are often spent being shuffled from soccer games and homeschooling co-ops to therapy sessions and doctor appointments and not a single minute of it is meant for him. So, I try to always be mindful of carving out time whenever possible to nurture my wild boy, to provide room for him to explore his own interests at his own pace, and to connect with him on a personal level. In the mornings, he crawls into bed with me to nurse and cuddle while Papa gets the other boys breakfast. When Liam is at Forest Kindergarten and Rory takes his nap, we play with trains, draw and watch Little Einsteins because these are the things he loves. If someone needs to run a weekend errand, we only ask Dexter if he would like to go so that he can wander through the store with us, never once being told to hurry along or to slow down. And on Saturday mornings, we go to Music Together to see "La-La." Dexter loves, loves, LOVES Music Together. He waves good-bye happily from the car as he heads to class in the morning, he wiggles with excitement when we pull into the parking lot, he runs as fast as his little legs will carry him to the door, he sings, dances and plays instruments with all his heart, and then he screams and screams when it is time to leave. I will admit that I was slightly hesitant to sign him up at first because I had taken Liam to a different early childhood music class when he was a toddler. We enjoyed it, but I never felt he received any great benefit from it. I am endlessly glad we gave this class a chance. It has been a very different experience. Sharla (or "La-La" as Dexter affectionately calls her) is a fabulous teacher. Dexter has learned a lot in class, but I have definitely learned more. She always takes the time to tell us how different aspects of the class are beneficial and ways to incorporate more music at home. This was one thing that was missing from the other class we tried so many years ago. Clearly, dancing with scarves and banging on drums is super fun, but we could do that at home! What I do not have access to at home is a knowledgeable instructor to share with me ways to make my child's life more musical and why I should. Plus Dexter just loves her. He regularly asks to visit her house, which is a pretty big deal for my little homebody. I also really like the mixed-age classes. The homeschool mom in me will never understand sticking a bunch of kids in the exact same developmental stage in a class together. I just don't think it allows them to learn as much from each other. In Dexter's class, there were babies under one and kids as old as four. The classes are also open to kids of all abilities, which is something that has become increasingly important to me for obvious reasons. I really love the dynamic this inclusivity creates. It is a rich environment that feels less like a formal class and more like friends coming together to make music and have fun. I have never really considered myself a musical person. Papa is the musician. He plays the guitar, he teaches Liam to play the piano and he sings the boys to sleep every night. I have always be content to just sort of let music be Papa's thing. However, music class has really encouraged me to embrace my own musical side. We all sing along to the Music Together c.d. in the car, I make up silly songs to sing to the boys about the things we are doing throughout the day, and we have daily dance parties with Club Radio on Pandora. What I lack in talent, I make up for in enthusiasm, and I can see how letting go of my own insecurities has allowed more music into our lives. Sharla asked if I would be willing to write something up about our experience, and I sort of wish I had something negative to include to balance things out a bit. It has just been an overwhelmingly positive experience. The only negative thing I can think of is that it has been ages since I was able to listen to NPR in the car because not listening to the "La-La" c.d. causes a total meltdown. I do miss my NPR. I think my very favorite part of this experience has been spending Saturday mornings with Dexter. He knows that music class is his special time. His personality really has a chance to stretch its legs and I have some time to enjoy this wild child of mine uninterrupted. Later, as he sings all the words to all the songs he has memorized, he grins that same proud dimpled grin that he grinned at me so many mornings ago as he sat wobbling on the floor while his fate as the Middle Child was sealed. It turns out, life as the middle child isn't so bad at all. If you are local, please check out Shar-La-La Music Together classes. You can attend a free demo class and I really think you will love it. If you are not local, you will be missing out on the fabulous La-La, but you can still check out Music Together's website to see if there are classes near you. It has been such a wonderful addition to our lives. I think you will love it too.
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WHO AM I?
I am Michelle: a wannabe hippie in love with a bonafide geek. We also spawned. I spend my days with our four wild, beautiful boy children and I overshare about our life online because I am a Millennial and that is what we do.
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