If you know me at all then you know that I am not even remotely interested in discussing politics. I rarely have opinions and I keep the opinions I do have to myself. I honestly find it incredibly difficult to even write this post because I value relationships over almost anything else and differences in opinion are never worth damaging relationships. But I think this is more than a difference of opinion and I think I have to talk about it. I was raised to respect our political leaders, even when we do not agree with them. I was raised to respect the office of the president even if the person in the position was not someone I would normally respect. I have carried that value with me my entire life and I had every intention of passing that value on to my children. I was also taught that we are meant to live like Jesus Christ lived and also that the president of the United States should be a person of high moral character, but since this has only proven to apply if the president in question is not blindly promising to fulfill every outlandish, base desire of my selfish, sinful, fearful heart, I will not even bother to address it. People voted for Donald Trump. A lot of people. I can understand that they had their reasons and that those reasons must have been really important for them to be able to see past his lack of experience, his lack of decorum, his unclear policies, his wreck of a personal life, and his questionable morals. I can do that because I know that people are not one-dimensional and that life is not always as simple as it looks. What I cannot, and will not, do is teach my children to admire, respect, look up to or aspire to be anything like the deplorable human being that those people with those reasons chose to be our leader. Donald Trump had said and done hundreds of things that I find appalling, things that have been addressed in a thousand different ways by a thousand different people far more qualified than I am, but there is one small moment that has played on repeat in my mind over and over and over again since the first time I pulled up election results and saw that he was in the lead. This moment. This moment is so small in comparison to so many other things that have happened to indicate that this man is unfit to lead our nation, but this moment will forever represent in my mind what I will have to learn to live with when I think about people I respected voting for this man. When you voted for Donald Trump, whatever your reasons, you voted for a man that found it entirely acceptable to mock a person exactly like my son. And it is hard for me to swallow that people who love my son could place this man in a position of authority in his life. And because of this moment, I cannot, and will not, tell my children to respect this person; a person that degrades and dehumanizes a person exactly like my child and then lies about doing so. My child whose legs do not work properly, who flaps his arms wildly when he is excited, who shrieks and moans to communicate, who has already been called "retarded" in his two tender years on this earth, who may never grow up to be a reporter but who I will fight for every day so that he might have that sort of opportunity and who I hope would be treated with respect by those around him if he does. It is not all this moment.... but this moment represents it all. Rory's differences have only been apparent for about a year and in that time a person has used the word "retarded" to describe him, a woman also informed me that she could tell he was "brain damaged" and, once, a mother picked her baby up abruptly and moved away from us on the playground when I had to explain that he was delayed. You know what I did in every one of the situations? I winced a little bit because it hurt. I gave my sweet baby a cuddle. I took a deep breath and forgave the person that hurt us out of their own fear or ignorance because there is no reason to hold on to that sort of negativity. Then, I moved on with my life. Do you know what I did not do? I did not approach the person who ridiculed my child, let them know that I forgave them for their degrading language and hurtful actions, and then asked them to please take a leadership role in decisions I would be making for that child in the future, to consider taking a position of great authority in my child's life and to have a say in the quality of his education, future employment, and general quality of life.
And yet, that is exactly the absurd position I now find myself in. The only way that I will be addressing the president of the United States of America with my children for the next four years will be to say, "Look, boys, please look.... do not be this man- be nothing like him and despise every thing he stands for so much that you will do everything in your power to make sure nothing like this ever, ever happens again." I genuinely hope that half this nation is completely wrong about his inability to lead this country and that nothing horrible happens as a result of his being placed in a position he is not qualified to handle. I would never wish failure on our political leaders because that hurts us all, but that does not change what I have to do while he is in that position. I am raising men of character and so that is the way it must be. This is the silver lining, I suppose, because it was not until this moment that I truly realized how important it is that I raise men of character... and how much more intentional I will have to be to do so. I am aware this post won't change anyone's mind. It is one personal anecdote in a sea of other far more tragic tales and appalling facts and revolting quotes that also did not change anyone's mind. And I hated writing it because I am honestly doing my very best to separate this in my mind; to believe that a vote for Trump was not intended to be harmful to my son. But, regardless of the intention, it was harmful... because a man who mocks disabilities will now be my disabled son's president. I need to put it out there in the world that this is not okay with me. I need Rory to know this is not okay with me. I am his mama and it is my job to protect him.... and I hate that I cannot make this go away. All I can do is everything I can do and make sure that he knows that this is not okay. And if you are one of the countless others that will be harmed by this presidency, I want you to also know that I will do everything I can do and that this is not okay. This is not okay.
15 Comments
Deb
11/11/2016 04:00:55 pm
Understand your frustration , but you did give birth to him , which you should, he is still a perfect little boy. Hillary believes in aborting in at 38 weeks. I did see the comment the Trump made , I didn't like it, but he didn't say killed babies at 38 weeks which is for worse
Reply
G L
11/11/2016 04:10:32 pm
"Hillary believes in aborting in at 38 weeks." - This is a bald-faced lie.
Reply
Jane
11/11/2016 05:25:48 pm
Does it really matter which week the baby is aborted? That is such a petty thing to focus on. Yes, Hillary allows people to abort children with disabilities such as your son's, which is far worse than this. Also, this picture of him was a snapshot that is not him mocking this man, as it appears to be. Watch the video, and you will see that this is photo was taken out of context. I am not for Trump or Hillary. They are both unfit for presidency, but I cannot stand when I see people ignoring Hillary's faults, which are also numerous.
Jane
11/11/2016 06:32:31 pm
And "what is", is falsified to make it appear that you have an even greater case to be against Trump, who you would obviously be against even if not for your son's disability. Why do liberals always gloss over, ignore, and refuse to acknowledge the issue of abortion? Do you not realize that millions of people are given the freedom to abort beautiful souls like your son? Why dismiss that so quickly even if this post is not about that?
CB
11/11/2016 04:47:42 pm
As someone who chose adoption over abortion, and would make the same decision again, I'd like to say that you are wrong. The Pro-life/Pro-choice argument seems to be the most important thing that Evangelicals hold to when supporting a political candidate. Let me assure you, Donald Trump does not care about abortion. He does not care about the women faced with a difficult decision, he does not care about someone's stance on abortion whether it be due to political or religious beliefs, and anything that he has said to support pro-life advocates has been done solely to win your vote. Which he did. He will not advocate for change, he will not give abortion a second thought once he's sworn in. Which therein lies another, much bigger issue: several of the platforms that this man has come up with will never see the light of day. Why? Because he does not care about you. He does not care about rural America. He saw his window, his path to win, by pandering to those most desperate to be heard, and he took it. But thinking that he actually cares about these things sets his supporters up to be as disappointed as the people who have been heartbroken by his election.
Reply
Jane
11/11/2016 05:30:56 pm
We shall see. You somehow sound so certain of all of these predictions. We do all know that Hillary was openly for abortion, so we need no predictions or assumptions to foresee how that would have gone.
Michelle Haddock
11/11/2016 07:57:30 pm
I am not commenting on what might have been... but on what is.
Reply
Michelle Haddock
11/11/2016 08:15:54 pm
Jane,
Jane
11/11/2016 08:38:35 pm
Well, you are very courteous in your response, which is appreciated. :) My apologies for assuming that you are liberal if that is not the case.
Michelle Haddock
11/11/2016 09:36:44 pm
I think I have just never shared my opinion openly enough to be labeled anything at all before so it felt strange!
Anonymous
11/11/2016 05:08:00 pm
While i respect your opinion and understands how you could believe that because liberal media pushes their anti Trump agenda. If you research the incident trump did not know the reporter had a disability. While trump should be more aware of his actions (and the lovely screen shot stills that can happen) he does that same Motion all the time when talking about anyone confused even in 2005 when he was talking about himself. So while he was "mocking" the reporter because the reporter was back peddling on his statements he was not mocking the reporters disabilities. Is he a man that needs to have more grace. Yes he is. But in extreme propaganda this incident along with others have been blown out of proportion by the media to fester the divide in the country and allow hatred to grow.
Reply
Michelle
11/11/2016 05:42:59 pm
Trust me when I say I thoroughly looked into the incident before commenting on it. His lie that he did not know the reporter was disabled is flimsy. He had met the person in question a dozen times at least. He had been interviewed extensively by him. The only proof there is that he acted out of ignorance is his word, which has been proven worthless dozens of times already. On top of this, there are reports that he called a deaf woman on The Apprentice 'retarded' and mocked her relentlessly but I did not include that in this personal account because I could not be sure of its validity. I would think you would know me well enough by now "anonymous" to not think me an idiot who does not look into matters before spouting of on them.
Reply
Amy
11/11/2016 09:34:30 pm
Michelle, I love your beautiful heart and your wonderful children and am sending love and hugs to you all the time.
Reply
Judy Katherine
11/11/2016 10:03:42 pm
I think some of you commenting may have missed Michelle's point. In my opinion she was saying that someone who could mock a disabled person (which he did), has no soul and certainly no right to lead this country. I can speak with authority because I cared for my son for 28 years and we as a nation should have done better for Michelle's son.
Reply
Dominique
12/11/2016 12:15:38 pm
Thank you for your thoughtful and genuine words, Michelle. There is a backlash happening right now, just as there has been against all civil rights progress in the past. Trump is an undignified person in the way he conducts himself, perhaps this will improve in time. His words are careless, he plays fast and loose with the facts, and he lacks a resume of public service, but I know many are hopeful that he will someone prove to change some aspects of our nation that need addressing. There is a great sense of injustice over the move towards sensitivity, towards inclusion, towards caring for all humans regardless of nationality. I try hard to see the Trump supporters as sensitive humans who are hurting in their own ways...:
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
WHO AM I?
I am Michelle: a wannabe hippie in love with a bonafide geek. We also spawned. I spend my days with our four wild, beautiful boy children and I overshare about our life online because I am a Millennial and that is what we do.
|